I’ve said many, many times that being an Army wife has made me a better person. It has taught me to be patient and independent. It has taught me that there are things that are worth sacrificing for, and that sometimes life isn’t ‘all about me’ – no matter how much I want it to be!

One of the things I learned during the deployment was the value of having my husband in my everyday life. I appreciate the things Paul brings to my life when he *is* around because so often I have to make do without those things! I think sometimes we forget to appreciate our partners, and having someone disappear for a year can certainly make you miss their good qualities. (And somehow, I think it lessens the impact of their bad ones!) When Paul was gone, I thought a lot about the friendship we share and the adventures we have together. I thought about how good he is at helping me take care of the dogs and how he never complains about my cooking and always cleans his plate. Rarely did I remember that he sometimes sticks his chewed gum to our coffee table or that he can’t keep straight which is my towel and which is his in the bathroom.

But the biggest things I learned during the deployment weren’t about Paul – they were about me. I like being a wife. I like fixing dinner for someone else and folding their laundry. I like having two toothbrushes in the cup on the sink instead of one. But after living alone for a year while Paul was gone, I realized that I like being by myself, too. I like going to bed with face mask on and watching girly movie marathons on Sunday afternoons. I like trying new recipes alone before I have to serve them to anyone. Most of all, I like knowing that I don’t *need* to be some one’s wife to be happy – no matter how much I like being married.

There is a thrill and a self-confidence that comes from knowing that whatever life throws your way, you can handle it. I’m not sure I would have learned that if I hadn’t spent last year alone on our farm: dealing with the mice and the flies, mowing the pastures and painting and re-roofing the house. Keeping me and our eight dogs clean, fed and safe without the luxury of calling Paul to ask for advice or direction. After the past year, I feel down-right invincible. And that is a gift.

Not that I’m saying that I want to do it again any time soon…. for now, I’ve learned my lesson!

Read about Deployment Lessons from other spouses.