{"id":48,"date":"2009-02-16T19:56:27","date_gmt":"2009-02-17T01:56:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/?p=48"},"modified":"2009-03-24T14:16:06","modified_gmt":"2009-03-24T20:16:06","slug":"48","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/2009\/02\/48\/","title":{"rendered":"Deployment Honesty: More is Better"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"telephone\"<\/a><\/p>\n

I really felt it was important to know as much as possible about Mark\u2019s deployment – both the good and the bad.<\/p>\n

Yes\u2026 there were times when it was hard to move on with my day, see patients and pretend \u2018life is great\u2019 when I just heard from my husband that they were hit with an IED\u2026 but not to worry they should only be stranded for a day or two\u2026<\/p>\n

That being said, the more informed I felt, the more I could identify with what Mark was going through, and that helped me prepare to be strong for him when he came home.<\/p>\n

I personally felt more was better, and thankfully I never felt like I was being taken by surprise when the \u2018gossip ring\u2019 hit. It made me feel like Mark and I were still a team even though I was at home and he was at war.<\/p>\n

When it came to sharing \u2018at home\u2019 problems with Mark, I think I was probably much more guarded than he was in sharing with me. I made a conscious choice to handle things this way. People would say \u2018but he needs to hear you and give you support.’ I disagree. I have people. I have my family, my battle buddy, my co-workers. They can console me. Mark had a lot on his plate and although I know he would have wanted to rescue me, there was nothing he could do for me from a world away.<\/p>\n

He can\u2019t take our infant to her doctor’s appointments; he can\u2019t rescue me from the hospital when I am sick; he can\u2019t heal me and the two kids when we have the flu at the same time and the three of us throw up together for a weekend; he can\u2019t fix my new car when I take it into the shop…again. Did I share all of this with him? Of course. I just did it once it was resolved or I had an answer for him. My goal was to make him feel as close to us as possible. Personally, I felt that telling him every problem in my day only made him feel more separated from me… and, well, (my fear was) more guilty for leaving us. Two emotions I did not want him to experience.<\/p>\n

I had it handled. Was it always the best policy? No. I suffered physically and mentally. I learned the hard way that if I wasn\u2019t going to share with Mark, I still had to share with someone<\/em>. You can\u2019t do it alone. No matter how much you think you can…<\/p>\n

Read more about deployment communication<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I really felt it was important to know as much as possible about Mark\u2019s deployment – both the good and the bad. Yes\u2026 there were times when it was hard to move on with my day, see patients and pretend \u2018life is great\u2019 when I just heard from my husband that they were hit with […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,7,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-featured","category-relationship-changes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/6"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}