School counselor offers comfort with deployed parent pillows<\/strong>
\nBy Joy Ovington<\/p>\nColorful drawings of smiling hearts and their fathers watching television with them or eating watermelon at a family picnic were drawn Thursday by Maxwell Elementary School children who have a deployed parent. The creative outlet is one of several provided as part of the school\u2019s \u201cFar and Away Club.\u201d<\/p>\n
A pillow with a deployed parent\u2019s picture on it is the latest effort in providing support for the children.<\/p>\n
For five years, Mary Jo Ryan, the Maxwell Elementary School guidance counselor, has welcomed these students into the biweekly \u201cFar and Away Club,\u201d more commonly known as \u201cthe deployed group.\u201d<\/p>\n
The counselor has created soft pillows for the kids with a digital photo of their deployed parent printed on fabric on the front of the pillow \u2013 something the children can hold when they miss their parent and want to feel closer.<\/p>\n
\u201cParents have been encouraged to send in a photo of the deployed parent, and I\u2019ve made the fabric shell out of quilting scraps,\u201d said Ms. Ryan. \u201cThe children then help stuff the pillows and are able to take them home that day.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ms. Ryan\u2019s classroom is a safe place where the children know they can express their feelings and talk about missing their parent, what the parent is doing while away, and what is happening at home.<\/p>\n
It is strictly a voluntary group, and Ms. Ryan said she makes every effort to keep the group meeting without taking the kids from their academic classes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt helps the children just to know they have some place they can go to if they want to talk to a grown-up or to other kids who also have a parent deployed. When I listen to the kids talk in group about their fears then I have an opportunity to help them,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
The kindergarten through second grade group has anywhere from five to eight children. The third through sixth grade group currently has five. Ms. Ryan said the numbers vary and have increased since 9\/11.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe activities in the two age groups are a little different. The younger kids have decided that they want to just come to my room to have lunch where it is quieter,\u201d she said. \u201cThe older kids come in and we talk a little bit about responsibilities, and we\u2019ve made a couple of craft items like bath salts for the parent who is home with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
In order to participate in the group, the student must have a parent deployed and not away on temporary duty. Ms. Ryan said that it does not matter whether the parent is deployed several months, a year, or sometimes longer.<\/p>\n
She also said attending the class does not abruptly end once the parent returns home. There is a transition phase the child is escorted through.<\/p>\n
Of the pillow, a first grader said she likes to \u201csnuggle up with it and it makes me feel better.\u201d She explained that her father is in Afghanistan \u201cto help people.\u201d<\/p>\n
A second grader talked about what she\u2019ll look forward to when her father returns. \u201cHe just pinches my arm and we laugh \u2013 and then he turns me and throws me up in the air. I miss that and I want to do it again when he comes back.\u201d<\/p>\n
A third grade boy described his extra responsibilities with his father in Iraq \u201cfor special business,\u201d and that he puts his special pillow on his bed so his dog doesn\u2019t get to it.<\/p>\n
All three expressed enthusiasm about having lunches with Ms. Ryan. They said they like eating cookies, listening to stories she reads to them and talking with her and the other kids about how proud they are of their dads.<\/p>\n
\u201cOne of the biggest things that a deployed parent is concerned about are the different things they miss seeing in their child\u2019s life when they are gone,\u201d said Ms. Ryan.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pillows can bring comfort to the child as well as to the parents as they cope with the changes and stresses of being separated for a time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ms. Ryan said the joy she sees on the children\u2019s faces helps her know she is in some way helping them. \u201cAs long as there is a need for the deployed group, I will be here for them.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This is a great idea! Pillowcases for kids with pictures of their deployed parents on them. Admittedly, I made Paul a pillowcase with a picture of me sleeping on it when he deployed. (Yes, so we could still sleep together. Sigh.) But I never thought of doing it the other way around! See the original […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,8,6,18,21,15],"tags":[39,47],"class_list":["post-157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-civilian-support","category-communication","category-press","category-parenting","category-one-day-at-a-time","category-relationship-changes","tag-deployment","tag-kids"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=157"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/157\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.myheroesathome.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}