I did, read about here at this Boston’s Largest Marine Corps Veteran Group web site. Lots of information about how these USMC Veterans. take care of their own from the Iraq conflicts

GOD BLESS,
RICH & GINA DRGOS

Thank you,
Jerry Viola

I feel for you, I really do. I’m scared that something like this can happen to a woman who obviously loved her husband with her whole heart. I can relate to the hurt you felt while he was gone, not being able to do a thing when he was frustrated. I heard about “dear deployment” letters and just wrote my first one. It was hard. It took me from feeling hurt and abandoned to feeling angry. I never thought writing could be THAT therapeutic.

I wish you the best, and I’m praying for you!

http://www.myheroesathome.com/blog/2009/11/communicate-what-you-want-to-know-during-deployment/

While I am deployed the things I don’t tell my wife or family aren’t typically because they violate OPSEC, but they are because I am protecting them from things that they don’t necessarily want or need to know. And it is true that we do get our fair share of downtime while we are gone, and can fill that time with watching sports or playing video games, and it is a great escape from the reality we are living in. But I cannot explain to you why your husband does that after a 12 hour work day, except that prior to a deployment, it could be to escape for a few hours and forget about the stuff he is dealing with at work and the looming departure date.

When I got back from my last deployment, I had little or no interest in anything that I did as a time filler while I was gone. I came home and there was a whole new variety of time fillers at my disposal, most of them revolving around my wife and dog. When I am at home, I typically do not have the same “hobbies” as when I am gone, mostly for the reasons I already stated, but also because they remind me of being gone, and I would rather focus on being home and enjoying that.

Just remember to keep the communication lines open with your husband, and through that you both will know how each other feels.

-Mike

Check out my latest blog. I think it will answer some of your questions.

http://www.myheroesathome.com/blog/2009/11/communicate-what-you-want-to-know-during-deployment/

I did, indeed, lose Paul to the deployment. He left me 6 weeks after he returned home. I don’t know why. (Yes - I have lots of theories - all related to deployment) but the truth is he never gave me a reason. In fact, we never spoke about it. One night he left and never came back. 8 months later, we were divorced. No talking it over; no counseling; no trying to work it out - not even a conversation about why he chose to leave.

Do I hate him? No. I was there every step of the way during that deployment. I know what he went through. And I know what he sacrificed. I truly believe that he gave everything he had on the battlefield and had nothing left to give when he came home. He was simply unable to be part of a marriage, and didn’t know what else to do. At any rate, that’s my truth - I guess I’ll never know his version.

Do I hate the deployment? Yes, some days I do. I hated it many days during the year we endured it. But mostly now I see all the things it taught me. All the ways I am stronger for having gone through it. All the things I learned about myself.

And the most powerful truth of all: even if I had known how it would turn out; I would have done it all over again.